Dance of Emotions - Part -2: The Journey continues!

My fear says this post is long, don't read,

Love says, read, this post it can make you strong!

My EGO befriends Fear,
My becoming unconditional manifests Love.

Being vulnerable I seek,
Wanting answers shuts the door to me receiving.

When I am dependent, I am ruled by Fear.
When I am In-dependent, I am Love.

Surviving is Fear, Thriving is Love.

Preserving repetitive routines strengthens my fear,
Living in Randomness blossoms my Love.

When I procrastinate, I prolong the Fear,
When I decide, I decorate Love.

When I am ruled by people, I protect my Fear,
When I choose the freedom to live, I demonstrate my Love.

My EGO based expectations fuel my fears,
My willingness to accept ignites Love.

I call for crutches in Fear,
I learn to fly in Love.

My thought of separation is victory for Fear,
My feel for unity is celebration for Love.

My fear repels relationships,
My Love attracts the 'ONE'.

Being caged is by nature Fear,
Spreading my wings and willing to fly is by birth Love.

My Fear pushes me to rule,
My Love liberates to bond!

The moment I give excuses, I protect my Fears,
My willingness to experiment is a proclamation of my love.

My Fears block my old energy,
Love allows my divine energy to flow!

Fear highlights others deficiencies,
My Love supports everyone's strength.

When I withhold, I expand my Fear,
When I announce, I attract Love.

My Fears are minute compared to,
My Love, which is vast.

Fear follows the finite,
Love leads you to the infinite.

My Fears force my point of view,
My Love embraces other's view point.

Fear says, my will,
Love is free-will.

My fears define my 'rights' and 'wrongs'
My Love creates 'what works'

Fear magnifies melodrama,
Love crystallises the Story.

My fear is based on my knowledge,
My Love builds on wisdom!.

My EGO driven Fears are my liabilities,
My Love is an asset.

Fear withdraws,
Love deposits.

My Fears confirms to norm,
My Love makes me non-confirming to norm.

My Fears restrict my choices,
There is no choice but to Love.

My Fear chokes my Life,
My Love celebrates Living!

The Personal ROI

Get sample chapters of my book The Personal ROI. Click on the link below and get started!

http://thepersonalroi.com/ 

My upcoming book in memory and salutation to my wife!

Thoughts and Thinking!

Space and Stillness!

Mirror experiences!

Internal Hardware and Software!

Pattern Paralysis!

Breath and Infinite Wisdom!

Heart Leadership!

Right and Wrong!

Of Silence and Listening...

On Saturday evening we witnessed a magnificent spectacle in the sky: the lunar eclipse. What amazed me that evening was the absolute silence that prevailed all around, even the silence of nature. The complete silence that lasted the duration of the eclipse was indeed an amazing experience. I felt that we experience the glory and beauty of celestial grandeur only in moments of complete silence.

Today, if you look around you find that all we have around us is noise. It’s noisy in the streets, it’s noisy in the restaurants, it’s noisy on the television, it’s noisy everywhere. Even schools today teach the young to read, write and recite, but never to listen — not only to listen externally but also internally. We are in times when, even while working, walking, jogging or simply sitting, we have a constant companion called noise.

In fact we have reached a stage where silence is scary and hence there’s a need for noise as a constant companion.

When we are silent, the mind starts talking to us and it can be extremely difficult to listen to our own mind.

Ask yourself this question: “Will I be my best friend?”. The answer in all probability will be “no!” That is because we are constantly self-critical.

In order to escape this self-critical person in us we find various ways not to listen to the mind.

While the self-critique in us can make us quite uncomfortable, it is the storehouse of information. It can give us an insight into how we are currently thinking and feeling.

When we become aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can go about understanding and healing the inner critique. And one of the ways we can understand and heal the inner critique is by remaining silent, by listening and experiencing everything around us, accepting the views of others, listening to the thoughts of others.

We find difficulty in following it, because as soon as we are subjected to any feedback, our defense mechanisms, built up unconsciously since childhood, spring to our apparent rescue.

When we become defenseless and operate through silence we discover a new self, a self that is happy and in sync with its surroundings. In the self that has divinity within we can find the glory and beauty of celestial grandeur.

As Rachel Naomi Remen has said: “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. “Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.

“A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words”.

React and Respond!

Head and Heart!

Noise and Voice

Happiness!

ENABLING DIVINE EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO DRIVE THE HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

Looking around us everyday, we get a sense of the emotional energy pervading all around of Fear, Anger, hostility, guilt, shame and depression, which Deepak Chopra calls as Diabolical Emotions.

Spin it around and we can look at the divine emotions of Love, Joy, Compassion, and Equanimity according to him.

Connecting the dots of the divine emotions to emotional intelligence, I have put forth my views how to arrive at the Happiness quotient that we all are seekers off.

Recent research in the field of EI calls happiness as an indicator of emotional health and well-being and the four factors of Happiness as per EQ-I 2.0, are Self Regard, Optimism, Interpersonal Relationships and Self actualization.

As an individual with high Self Regard, I respect myself as well as accept the strengths and limitations while remaining satisfied and self-secure. When we can do this to ourselves and can apply a similar structure to all around us, we become unconditional, which is the primary ingredient of the divine emotion called Love for me.

The second aspect of optimism where I see hope, the glass as half-full, can get energized by setbacks and obstacles and fuelled to overcome challenges in life, I express the second divine emotion of Joy showcasing itself in all its glory.

Wikipedia defines Compassion as that emotion that one feels in response to the sufferings of the others that motivates a desire to help, which sits exceedingly well for me with the Emotional Intelligence element of Inter-Personal Relationships where we look out not only for new relationships but also take care of the ones we already have, we have the courage to ask and give help and have mutually enriching exchanges in professional as well as personal lives.

Self-Actualization in the business world means finding the purpose and enjoying what you do while performing at the optimal level. When I operate from that space I can help others to self-actualize too because there is this inner stillness of peace and confidence, that the universe is conspiring for our greater purpose, which the divine emotion of Equanimity is all about.

When I am at peace, the other three divine emotions of Love, Joy and Compassion flow effortlessly and express themselves in their true glory.

To the emotional intelligence angle of measuring happiness, if divine emotions are added, I propose that I am an individual with a high happiness quotient.

Conversely, apply the divine emotions first in day-to-day life and automatically increase your emotional intelligence as well as your happiness quotient.  

Psychology takes time to express what spirituality already possesses!

Enjoy and In-Joy

Healing and Pain

Using Emotional Energy to Inspire

In the boardroom at 3M headquarters in the fourth quarter 1995 after putting a $650 million worth magnetic-storage business, the benefits director drew an iceberg. Inside the tip, the part exposed above the water, he wrote absenteeism, medical expenses, technology, facilities, tech training, quality control and benchmarking. Below the waterline – on the submerged 90 percent of the iceberg – he wrote tension, energy, stress, personal wellness and lifestyle, interpersonal skills and creativity. Below this he wrote a series of question marks.

It is that time of the year in companies and maybe some companies the time has come and gone, when we do the annual performance appraisals of employees and I dare say the most traumatic part of their work year. “Why is this so?”

I am sure that there has been enough of research and debate around the topic and the 3M instances just influenced me to put in my two bits to the plethora of information that is already available. I am approaching the topic from the Emotional Intelligence angle.

In my personal view the 10% above the water is what I would like to call as the ‘Drama’ that which is visible to the external environment and is an indicator of the companies well being. The 90% below the water line is what I call the ‘Story’, which is hidden and very often not given its ‘due importance’. Do pay attention that I have said due importance.

In the current context the Drama is priority forgetting the Story which leaves the employee often frustrated because all the challenges that he is facing stems from the 90% and a sustained focus is lacking here.

Any attention to the 90% paid is more through a ‘spray and pray’ form of skill based training whose effects have a highly limited period of retention let alone implementation.

We need to understand that the pain points mentioned in the 90% all have an emotional component attached to it and when we try and deal with it as a skill gap, the results are what they are, dismal.

Using Emotional Intelligence as a means to address the emotional component of employee challenges would lead to changes that are more effective and lasting. We need to understand that any situation that we deal with in our everyday interaction has an underlying emotional element attached to it, the more we deny it the stronger it gets.

The said emotion has a corresponding energy woven to it that can be used for the good of both the individual good as well as for the collective good.

New age Emotional Intelligence is defined as, “a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.”

When these emotional and social skills are channelized the resultant energy can result in brek-through performances both at an individaul as well as at a organizational level.

Going forward as a developmental tool for this year, look at what ‘Emotional Energy’ can do to build emotional engagement for and individual both personally and professionally.

Remember that the Story supports the drama and not the other way round!

References: Executive EQ: Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawar, EQi 2.0 – Multi-Health Systems