The Personal ROI

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The Self Blame Game!

The Gratitude Quotient!

Reclaim your Sense of Self through Emotional Intelligence!

‘You are just like that, He is just like his father, and this is how this college is!’

Typical clichéd terms that we use in our everyday conversations, without realizing the need to make a validation for such statements! We unconsciously say things for which we have no evidential back up.

Why is this so? It is because we are all victims of the basic fabric of our social structure that today is influencing every aspect of our being.

We live in an era of information overload through the various mediums that we have, all at our fingertips. Be it the Television, print, the Internet or any other medium we are now hijacked by their power so much so that we no longer have our own identity. We have surrendered our ability to think and act. The influence of the various mediums is so powerful that we have become a ‘copy-cat’ civilization and it could not have been better for the czars of this creation. We need not second guess who they are.

We are told what to eat, drink, when we will fall sick, what medicine to take, how to dance, walk, talk; in fact every domain our life-styles is now invaded. We are even dictated as to when we should be sad, glad, mad et all. If this not hypnosis, what is?

We are so influenced by this that we slowly start talking, walking and so much so go all the way in conducting ourselves as per their influences. We become the unconscious ‘brand ambassadors’. We have no original identity. If you think I am wrong, look around you and pick at least one buying decision in your environment that has not been influenced by the all-powerful mediums!

Eldon Taylor says, ‘we are no longer our original selves, we are products of what is being foisted on us’, how true!

Emotional Intelligence has tools that can help you reclaim that original self, the competencies of Self-Regard, Self-Perception, Independence, Empathy, Optimism and Decision Making are among a few that can help us on this path.

They can empower you with the power of personal choice above any other choice. We are the only species on the planet with the choice of discrimination and sadly are the only species that does not use it. It is so because we are being led to choices being made by others!

We can gain all the knowledge that we can at the click of a button; we don’t have the wisdom of applying that knowledge. We are all literate but not educated.

STOP right now and reclaim that power of self-choice, tap into the wisdom of the self that is abundant and available before we are consumed by the powers that be.

The Inner Critic!

Space and Stillness!

Trusting the Self!

Mirror experiences!

Heart Leadership!

Head and Heart!

Noise and Voice

ENABLING DIVINE EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO DRIVE THE HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

Looking around us everyday, we get a sense of the emotional energy pervading all around of Fear, Anger, hostility, guilt, shame and depression, which Deepak Chopra calls as Diabolical Emotions.

Spin it around and we can look at the divine emotions of Love, Joy, Compassion, and Equanimity according to him.

Connecting the dots of the divine emotions to emotional intelligence, I have put forth my views how to arrive at the Happiness quotient that we all are seekers off.

Recent research in the field of EI calls happiness as an indicator of emotional health and well-being and the four factors of Happiness as per EQ-I 2.0, are Self Regard, Optimism, Interpersonal Relationships and Self actualization.

As an individual with high Self Regard, I respect myself as well as accept the strengths and limitations while remaining satisfied and self-secure. When we can do this to ourselves and can apply a similar structure to all around us, we become unconditional, which is the primary ingredient of the divine emotion called Love for me.

The second aspect of optimism where I see hope, the glass as half-full, can get energized by setbacks and obstacles and fuelled to overcome challenges in life, I express the second divine emotion of Joy showcasing itself in all its glory.

Wikipedia defines Compassion as that emotion that one feels in response to the sufferings of the others that motivates a desire to help, which sits exceedingly well for me with the Emotional Intelligence element of Inter-Personal Relationships where we look out not only for new relationships but also take care of the ones we already have, we have the courage to ask and give help and have mutually enriching exchanges in professional as well as personal lives.

Self-Actualization in the business world means finding the purpose and enjoying what you do while performing at the optimal level. When I operate from that space I can help others to self-actualize too because there is this inner stillness of peace and confidence, that the universe is conspiring for our greater purpose, which the divine emotion of Equanimity is all about.

When I am at peace, the other three divine emotions of Love, Joy and Compassion flow effortlessly and express themselves in their true glory.

To the emotional intelligence angle of measuring happiness, if divine emotions are added, I propose that I am an individual with a high happiness quotient.

Conversely, apply the divine emotions first in day-to-day life and automatically increase your emotional intelligence as well as your happiness quotient.  

Psychology takes time to express what spirituality already possesses!

Enjoy and In-Joy

Healing and Pain

Using Emotional Energy to Inspire

In the boardroom at 3M headquarters in the fourth quarter 1995 after putting a $650 million worth magnetic-storage business, the benefits director drew an iceberg. Inside the tip, the part exposed above the water, he wrote absenteeism, medical expenses, technology, facilities, tech training, quality control and benchmarking. Below the waterline – on the submerged 90 percent of the iceberg – he wrote tension, energy, stress, personal wellness and lifestyle, interpersonal skills and creativity. Below this he wrote a series of question marks.

It is that time of the year in companies and maybe some companies the time has come and gone, when we do the annual performance appraisals of employees and I dare say the most traumatic part of their work year. “Why is this so?”

I am sure that there has been enough of research and debate around the topic and the 3M instances just influenced me to put in my two bits to the plethora of information that is already available. I am approaching the topic from the Emotional Intelligence angle.

In my personal view the 10% above the water is what I would like to call as the ‘Drama’ that which is visible to the external environment and is an indicator of the companies well being. The 90% below the water line is what I call the ‘Story’, which is hidden and very often not given its ‘due importance’. Do pay attention that I have said due importance.

In the current context the Drama is priority forgetting the Story which leaves the employee often frustrated because all the challenges that he is facing stems from the 90% and a sustained focus is lacking here.

Any attention to the 90% paid is more through a ‘spray and pray’ form of skill based training whose effects have a highly limited period of retention let alone implementation.

We need to understand that the pain points mentioned in the 90% all have an emotional component attached to it and when we try and deal with it as a skill gap, the results are what they are, dismal.

Using Emotional Intelligence as a means to address the emotional component of employee challenges would lead to changes that are more effective and lasting. We need to understand that any situation that we deal with in our everyday interaction has an underlying emotional element attached to it, the more we deny it the stronger it gets.

The said emotion has a corresponding energy woven to it that can be used for the good of both the individual good as well as for the collective good.

New age Emotional Intelligence is defined as, “a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.”

When these emotional and social skills are channelized the resultant energy can result in brek-through performances both at an individaul as well as at a organizational level.

Going forward as a developmental tool for this year, look at what ‘Emotional Energy’ can do to build emotional engagement for and individual both personally and professionally.

Remember that the Story supports the drama and not the other way round!

References: Executive EQ: Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawar, EQi 2.0 – Multi-Health Systems

Emotionally Intelligent Living.

Our Physical personality consists of the Perceiver and the actor. Our forms of perception, driven by the sense organs of Taste, Touch, Smell, Hear and See, help us understand the physical world. The actor executes the actions based on our perception. The Emotional personality has the Feeler in us, which involves handling our emotions, and the discriminatory personality has the Thinker in us that defines intellect, which further branches into the gross and the subtle. The gross is involved in worldly boundaries and worldly thoughts and the subtle is the contemplator in which lies the spiritual personality. We now live in the age of speed and instant gratification; we have everything instant starting from noodles, to messaging. The media today constantly exposes our minds on the need or speed. We have 15-second advertisements showing achievements, which might take a lifetime, and giving us a false sense of instant possibility. This has driven focus from what is fundamentally important to what is urgently important thereby causing anxiety when one discovers things do not work the way they want it to and it surely doesn’t work in 15 seconds. We begin to live on expectations from our actions, which causes internal stress, rather than on accepting the results of our actions. When the mind is racing with thoughts of expectations and encounters roadblocks anxiety increases and when anxiety increases it leads to stress. Stress is therefore the speed of the mind. To reduce stress we need to decrease the speed of the mind. This is the yogic definition of stress. So, the percolation of stress starts in the mind which affects our breathing (observe your breath in moments of anger or fear), which affects the way, we look (body language in times of anger and fear) and finally affects the individual organs leading to various ailments. When our intellect is inattentive due to external stressors the mind goes wandering, making the senses run helter skelter which causes the body to be under constant pressure and finally break. Therefore to control the speed of the mind we need to first control our intellect which means focusing on our contemplative intellect and seek to understand the greater purpose of our journey on this planet which is fundamentally important rather than get carried away by our gross intellect making us seek temporary accomplishments which are short lived and thereby carry the message of being urgently important to do. Being Emotionally Intelligent, for a start, helps focus on the contemplative you and start the journey of discovery within.