Divine Grace.....My 5 days of Inquiry!

When you deep dive within and discover: Don't deny

When you are denied your need to discover: Don't Suppress

Denial and Suppression are giving-in,
Giving-in is Separation.
Separation has its roots entrenched in Fear

Fear from your 'self' and fear from the 'divine self'

Fear suffocates the true spirit,
Causes dis-ease in the mind,
That trickles down as disease of the body.

Call forth your true need with gay-abandon,
Attract the power of eternal union,
Let the Universe work for your co-creation.

You are far from competition to receive Love,
You are Love, Divine Love.

There are no names and no labels,
Only your freedom of choice to express

The Energy to Create!

Emapthy vs. Criticism!

You BET!

Passion for Life!

Compassion at the Heart of Emotional Intelligence!

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I am certain that a lot of us have heard this before by Maya Angelou, ‘It is my observation that in the future, they will not remember what you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel’.

Feelings are a part of the emotional repertoire and the next step after feelings are emotions, i.e. when I put that feeling into motion.

At the heart of Emotional Intelligence is Compassion. When we understand what compassion is in contrast to Compulsion, we understand what Maya Angelou says.

Compassion has an emotion attached to it and this emotion is different from the ‘think emotion’ that we so incessantly have all the time. When we think that we need to do something, it is not Compassion but compulsion and that is where most of us are caught up in, in today's world.

According to Wikipedia: ‘Compassion is the emotion that one feels in response to the suffering of others that motivates a desire to help’.

And to that I add, ‘make a difference’!

Compulsion means: ‘the action or state of forcing or being forced to do something’. Many a time, I attend functions that I don’t want to, do something that I don’t feel like or comply with actions that are not necessarily mine.

The force that Compassion has is internal, it is something from within that makes me want to make a difference and this gives me tremendous energy! When I am told to do something against my will the force is external, I do it more as a requirement and obligation rather than free will and this drains me.

This external force might be family, social pressures, environment, a boss or whoever!

From this we understand that both compassion and compulsion have a bodily response to an emotional action. I can differentiate my actions by the output that my body generates at the end of that action. I can feel the output through my body!

While this is applicable personally, the person on the other side of the fence who is a recipient of doer’s behaviour is also capable of recognizing whether the doer is being compassionate or is doing it out of compulsion.

All of us have in us the infinite wisdom to recognize motives; we can instinctively feel whether it is heart felt or head conceived!

When we act in compassion, we are acting from the spirit, when we act out of compulsion we are acting from the EGO.

Go ahead and make a conscious choice to celebrate the joy of the spirit rather than be bound by the drama of the EGO!

Integrity and Emotional Honesty

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What you think, that you say; what you say, that you do; what you do, that you speak; and what you speak that you think.

What the above phrase is saying in short is: One thing in action, one thing in speech and one thing in thought. These form the true nature of conduct for any one of us. When thought, speech and deed are in sync; we can say that we are in integrity.

Change this a little: one thing in their action, one thing in their speech and one thing in their thought and the meaning changes completely of being totally out of integrity.

How many times everyday are we faced with having to choose from the space of Integrity or otherwise? That is the question.

Corporates and individuals pride themselves when setting vision and mission statements personally as well as for the organizations and very often words like honesty and integrity act as foundational pillars to define themselves.

These words trickle down to individuals as well as the teams that proclaim the values of Integrity in their day-to-day work. Change the scenario a little where the interests of bottom lines are involved, very many a time the same individual, boss or teams, put the foundations aside for the sake of business or personal interests.

When questioned, the answer is a typical ‘Get smart, we are in business’ answer.

This often leads to a perplexity in the minds of the individual/s involved and soon enough they find that their personal values seem to be drifting away from professional needs and disillusion sets in terms of right and wrong. The more often this discrepancy occurs the bigger the separation, and this becomes one of the major causes for high attrition.

Over a period of time, even the perpetrator/s of the get smart brigade also start to feel the disconnect.

The major pain point for individual/s in teams today is that when a compromise is asked for, a valid reason is not given.

Logic may say that these individuals who feel short changed should obey the order, as from the outside no major compromise on the part of the organization is being made and it is finally for the collective good.

This rarely works as these little compromises add up over a period of time and then there is a distinct departure that is established.

When the courage of establishing a need for the said change is developed, and the truth behind is revealed, it releases an enormous burden for both sides and this practiced over a period of time lead to an open environment where there is mutual trust and integrity is never questioned.

This power to reveal the truth is called ‘Emotional Honesty’ and it originates in the heart. Remember, when we are honest, we have nothing to remember.

When we are honest, we heal relationships and build trust.

When will we get the courage to develop this Emotional Honesty is a question individuals need to answer for themselves first before it can be scaled to a higher level.

In the current context, it’s a walk down a very lonely path!

Breath and Infinite Wisdom!

Heart Leadership!

Of Silence and Listening...

On Saturday evening we witnessed a magnificent spectacle in the sky: the lunar eclipse. What amazed me that evening was the absolute silence that prevailed all around, even the silence of nature. The complete silence that lasted the duration of the eclipse was indeed an amazing experience. I felt that we experience the glory and beauty of celestial grandeur only in moments of complete silence.

Today, if you look around you find that all we have around us is noise. It’s noisy in the streets, it’s noisy in the restaurants, it’s noisy on the television, it’s noisy everywhere. Even schools today teach the young to read, write and recite, but never to listen — not only to listen externally but also internally. We are in times when, even while working, walking, jogging or simply sitting, we have a constant companion called noise.

In fact we have reached a stage where silence is scary and hence there’s a need for noise as a constant companion.

When we are silent, the mind starts talking to us and it can be extremely difficult to listen to our own mind.

Ask yourself this question: “Will I be my best friend?”. The answer in all probability will be “no!” That is because we are constantly self-critical.

In order to escape this self-critical person in us we find various ways not to listen to the mind.

While the self-critique in us can make us quite uncomfortable, it is the storehouse of information. It can give us an insight into how we are currently thinking and feeling.

When we become aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can go about understanding and healing the inner critique. And one of the ways we can understand and heal the inner critique is by remaining silent, by listening and experiencing everything around us, accepting the views of others, listening to the thoughts of others.

We find difficulty in following it, because as soon as we are subjected to any feedback, our defense mechanisms, built up unconsciously since childhood, spring to our apparent rescue.

When we become defenseless and operate through silence we discover a new self, a self that is happy and in sync with its surroundings. In the self that has divinity within we can find the glory and beauty of celestial grandeur.

As Rachel Naomi Remen has said: “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. “Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.

“A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words”.

Noise and Voice

ENABLING DIVINE EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TO DRIVE THE HAPPINESS QUOTIENT

Looking around us everyday, we get a sense of the emotional energy pervading all around of Fear, Anger, hostility, guilt, shame and depression, which Deepak Chopra calls as Diabolical Emotions.

Spin it around and we can look at the divine emotions of Love, Joy, Compassion, and Equanimity according to him.

Connecting the dots of the divine emotions to emotional intelligence, I have put forth my views how to arrive at the Happiness quotient that we all are seekers off.

Recent research in the field of EI calls happiness as an indicator of emotional health and well-being and the four factors of Happiness as per EQ-I 2.0, are Self Regard, Optimism, Interpersonal Relationships and Self actualization.

As an individual with high Self Regard, I respect myself as well as accept the strengths and limitations while remaining satisfied and self-secure. When we can do this to ourselves and can apply a similar structure to all around us, we become unconditional, which is the primary ingredient of the divine emotion called Love for me.

The second aspect of optimism where I see hope, the glass as half-full, can get energized by setbacks and obstacles and fuelled to overcome challenges in life, I express the second divine emotion of Joy showcasing itself in all its glory.

Wikipedia defines Compassion as that emotion that one feels in response to the sufferings of the others that motivates a desire to help, which sits exceedingly well for me with the Emotional Intelligence element of Inter-Personal Relationships where we look out not only for new relationships but also take care of the ones we already have, we have the courage to ask and give help and have mutually enriching exchanges in professional as well as personal lives.

Self-Actualization in the business world means finding the purpose and enjoying what you do while performing at the optimal level. When I operate from that space I can help others to self-actualize too because there is this inner stillness of peace and confidence, that the universe is conspiring for our greater purpose, which the divine emotion of Equanimity is all about.

When I am at peace, the other three divine emotions of Love, Joy and Compassion flow effortlessly and express themselves in their true glory.

To the emotional intelligence angle of measuring happiness, if divine emotions are added, I propose that I am an individual with a high happiness quotient.

Conversely, apply the divine emotions first in day-to-day life and automatically increase your emotional intelligence as well as your happiness quotient.  

Psychology takes time to express what spirituality already possesses!

Enjoy and In-Joy

Healing and Pain

Using Emotional Energy to Inspire

In the boardroom at 3M headquarters in the fourth quarter 1995 after putting a $650 million worth magnetic-storage business, the benefits director drew an iceberg. Inside the tip, the part exposed above the water, he wrote absenteeism, medical expenses, technology, facilities, tech training, quality control and benchmarking. Below the waterline – on the submerged 90 percent of the iceberg – he wrote tension, energy, stress, personal wellness and lifestyle, interpersonal skills and creativity. Below this he wrote a series of question marks.

It is that time of the year in companies and maybe some companies the time has come and gone, when we do the annual performance appraisals of employees and I dare say the most traumatic part of their work year. “Why is this so?”

I am sure that there has been enough of research and debate around the topic and the 3M instances just influenced me to put in my two bits to the plethora of information that is already available. I am approaching the topic from the Emotional Intelligence angle.

In my personal view the 10% above the water is what I would like to call as the ‘Drama’ that which is visible to the external environment and is an indicator of the companies well being. The 90% below the water line is what I call the ‘Story’, which is hidden and very often not given its ‘due importance’. Do pay attention that I have said due importance.

In the current context the Drama is priority forgetting the Story which leaves the employee often frustrated because all the challenges that he is facing stems from the 90% and a sustained focus is lacking here.

Any attention to the 90% paid is more through a ‘spray and pray’ form of skill based training whose effects have a highly limited period of retention let alone implementation.

We need to understand that the pain points mentioned in the 90% all have an emotional component attached to it and when we try and deal with it as a skill gap, the results are what they are, dismal.

Using Emotional Intelligence as a means to address the emotional component of employee challenges would lead to changes that are more effective and lasting. We need to understand that any situation that we deal with in our everyday interaction has an underlying emotional element attached to it, the more we deny it the stronger it gets.

The said emotion has a corresponding energy woven to it that can be used for the good of both the individual good as well as for the collective good.

New age Emotional Intelligence is defined as, “a set of emotional and social skills that influence the way we perceive and express ourselves, develop and maintain social relationships, cope with challenges, and use emotional information in an effective and meaningful way.”

When these emotional and social skills are channelized the resultant energy can result in brek-through performances both at an individaul as well as at a organizational level.

Going forward as a developmental tool for this year, look at what ‘Emotional Energy’ can do to build emotional engagement for and individual both personally and professionally.

Remember that the Story supports the drama and not the other way round!

References: Executive EQ: Robert K. Cooper and Ayman Sawar, EQi 2.0 – Multi-Health Systems