False Self and the Self

The distinction between oneness and separation is created by the false mind or the EGO. Ego feeds the thinking that we are separate giving us a false sense of identity, it also feeds the mind on the past and projects itself into the future. This ensures its survival.

Oneness on the other hand is in the here and now and in unity, looking at all and everything as one, from the source.Oneness dwells in the consciousness of the self, it seeks the wholeness of creation.

The believe in oneness is to seek the self and to feed the false self is to deny the presence of the self thereby denying creation.

Theatre of the Mind

In the theater of the mind are the trailers of life, each jostling for space to show itself. They keep popping up ever so frequently and seek attention. Becoming aware of these trailers and whether they originate from the dead past or the still to happen future prevents us from guilt as well as anxiety. The mind without the past and the future is non-existent.

Realize that this is the trick played by the 'monkey mind' for its own survival! Becoming aware of these trailers and what they portray, defines our response and molding in life situations. Accepting them and inquiring into them helps us gather new path-ways to healing. Resisting and discarding them gives them strength holding us in repetitive behaviour...........

Silence and the breath!!

Breath is silence, Breath is prana or life. Therefore life is silence.Every sound is born out of silence dies back into silence and in its life span is surrounded by silence.From silence arises everything.

To focus on life focus on silence therefore focus on the breath. Find the breathing patterns that affect the silence, affect life.

When the breath is irregular, uneasy, silence is absent. Then life is disturbed uneasy. Focus on the silence and dwell in the silence.

The term 'Spiritual HR' gains all the more relevance in the prevailing times. To understand the term we first need to accept that the term 'Spiritual' has got nothing to do with religion and is based on three factors which are a) Unconditional Acceptance b) Compassion and c) truth

The above 3 in today's context gain that much more relevance than at any other point in time in recent memory. Today we have moved from an era of need to one of 'greed' and hoarding. We casually dismiss greed as saying progress, free market, I work hard etc.

As people in the HR domain it becomes all the more important that we inculcate the elements of unconditional acceptance in the people who work in our organizations and set-ups. The best acceptance of unconditional acceptance in recent memory is Pope John Paul - II who forgave the man who had attempted to assassinate him. In fact this act of forgiveness can be termed 'Love' which in any case encompasses the aspect of unconditional acceptance. As people in HR do we accept the Human assets under us leave alone unconditional acceptance or are we looking at ways and means of getting rid of them at the slightest opportunity!

Secondly, are we compassionate to what is happening with the employee be it personally, career wise, financially and socially? Are we empathetic to the needs of each and every Human asset that we have? Empathy is not only putting oneself in the other person's shoe but also walking a couple of miles with that shoe so that we feel the pain and the sweat! Are we building an emotional connect with the employee or are our relationships purely professional! The reason that in today's society the number of people who take their lives are increasing is simply because of the non-existent emotional connect with their colleagues, bosses, their families and friends. We live in an era where all that matters are results and results yesterday! We hardly spend any time in trying to understand all that is happening in the lives of others

Finally, are we communicating the truth to the people who are instrumental in the success of the Organization or are we building success not on principles of what is fundamentally important but on what is urgently important in most case our balance sheets! We have had enough examples in the recent past that indicate that the later is true! As HR professionals do we talk the truth and more importantly do we walk the talk? Being truthful definitely empowers, because when you do so you don't have to remember anything! We find excuses for not being or wanting to be truthful and we casually dismiss it as 'the situation demands that I should not speak the truth'.

Having said the above we need to align the principles of any organization on the 3 aspects of Spirituality in the right spirit! Not only do we have to talk the talk but also walk the walk.

The Mind and the Ego!

There was a request to post the Learnings from the book 'The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle in one of the forums that I am a member.

This is what I felt! Read on....

Dear Mayannk,

Wonderful!

The Power of Now has the ingredients needed to experience the state of Being rather than the state of doing, which by the way is how we operate most of the time. This is because of the fear of the mind in this case the brain of its mortality and how it influnces the being or tries to overpower the being by not letting it operate in the 'NOW' which in any case is all that we have and it manipulates us into the past and the future thereby giving us a false sense of reality!

In trying to train the brain to remain in the present, we need to observe our thoughts and the constant flirtations that it has with the past and the present which feeds the ego. These thoughts can be based on the accomplishments (past) and/or projections (future). The 'Win' for the brain can be as trivial as 'having the last word' in even the most simple communication exchange between two individuals while 'losing' is perceived as its demise!

Thoughts of the past and the future also puts us into the understanding of time as something that adds pressure to the self rather than look at time as resource that can be had to accomplish what is at hand in the 'Now'. The crib/boasting about the past and the expectations for something to happen in the future is a way of the mind in not wanting to accept that which is and that is the 'Now'. When we are in the present the mind has no role to play thereby rendering it practically useless and this it will not let happen!

All this brings me to the learning that the mind and the ego are the same and understanding of either helps us 'the individual.'

This is the essence that the book placed in me.

In Being,

The in-ternal Customer

A lot many times we look at the cure from outside without realizing that the cure more often than not lies inside.

I have had a lot many friends who have approached me to counsel children simply because the children are not behaving according to their expectations and they think that the problem lies with the child rather than themselves. This is exactly the same as trying to satisfy the Customer without satisfying the employee.


The first request that I make is that they go through counselling themselves to unearth the reason why their children are behaving the way that they do. The minute a suggestion like that is made the defence mechanism within the each one of us springs to defend ourselves to thinking that the problem is with the child and not the parent. Exactly like what companies say, "We are paying them well and providing them with all the comforts and benefits that they want, so that's not the problem". It is like saying that I am giving my child all that he or she wants in terms of material comforts, so she/he has no reason to be dissapointed!


Many a time we hear terms like 'bonding', 'quality time' etc that is used to address the issue of developing relationships with children and often the 'quality time' that we give them is spent "advising" them on what to do and what not to do! where as all the child needs is a patient hearing what Steven Covey calls "Seek first to understand and then to be understood", of what's happening in its own world. the child is quite capable of finding the answers by itself!


The reason the emphasis is on children and the family is because all learning starts at home and what is prevelant at home is what we carry outside including our offices, social settings and the like. It is no wonder that the saying "people who live in glass houses should not throw stones at others" is so very apt in this situation. Likewise satisfy the customer with-in before trying to satisfy the customer with-out. Look at yourself before trying to look at the child, wife, friend, boss and peers!


In Inquiry,

Relationships

In this modern age of double incomes and financial independence the greatest concern that faces all of us is the need to move to a stage of Interdependence as stated by Steven Covey.



Marital conflicts arise from the fact that both the individuals are equally capable of living on their own and everywhere we go, there is this increased focus on individual success, brilliance etc being recognized. This has created a 'I', 'Me', 'Myself' culture that has led to self-centered behaviour.



Also, we now live in a culture of instant gratification, we have everthing around us available to us when we need it, we can make calls half way around the world in an instant, instant noodles, fast food etc, so much so that we are even promised instant 'Nirvana"!.



We carry this with us even in our relationships and we want our relationships to be what 'we' want it to be instantly and when that does not happen, we want instant seperation!.



Most of the discord that arises in any relationship and particularly couples is that "each individual is trying to change the other"! while change we need to understand happens with the self first. The only person that you can change on this Earth is "you", which a lot of us tend to miss.



So, the key point that we need to address is that we need to give 'time' in our relationships, what with 2 different individuals being brought up in completely different backgrounds, beliefs, values and even life styles in their respective houses come together to make a new beginning.



Secondly, we need to develop the attitude of 'acceptance', we need to accept the other person for her/his beliefs, values, life styles et all. Unfortunately we 'expect' a lot from the other individual and when that expectation is not met we instantly discard the person/relationship.



Lastly, we need to develop an 'awareness of ourselves', we need to understand our background, our trigger points, our pain points and the like so that we are able to understand the other person's point of view. Infact this point needs to be at the beginning rather than in the end.

Feel free to share your thoughts.....